Making children happy in this toxic masculine culture

 

Who taught you how to deal with your emotions? I never considered this a question until my children started struggling with theirs.

 

I was a sensitive child. So, there was no one around who was more sensitive than me. There was no one emotionally aware enough to guide me. Everyone around me seemed hard, cold and distant. So, I suppressed it as much as possible, which made me lonely and frustrated. Suppressing this just meant it resurfaced decades later when I became a parent. It then took me nearly a decade to resolve this internally unresolved conflict, and such was the magnitude of my self-deception. Now, I'm here to share with you so you can learn from my mistakes and help you navigate this world successfully as a sensitive empath.

 

Often, as children, we are faced with emotionally illiterate people. Most people have never had any emotional awareness support, help, training, or guidance. So, how can you deal with your emotions if no one shows you how?

 

As adults, we are constantly looking for emotionally literate people for support. How can there be any? As a culture, we have not considered emotions necessary or relevant.

 

Historically, if you constantly fight back-to-back wars, which we have done for centuries, there is no place for ‘emotions’. We hear this in expressions like a ‘stiff upper lip’. Socially, this has been predominantly about ‘getting on with it’ and ignoring anything in the way—mainly emotions, but also thoughts and actions. I cannot judge the past, but this is no longer an effective way to manage yourself.

 

We are seeing the emergence of generations of young people who are more in touch with their emotions. It's pretty tricky for the emotionally harder adults around to understand or feel any empathy, mainly because there was no understanding or empathy for them. The pain from these experiences is buried deep inside the underlayers of trauma, where no one could hurt them. It's their vulnerable underbelly that they dare not expose.

 

Today, you need to see that this is no longer the case. You are right if your emotions need to be seen and heard, if you feel your emotions need to be validated, if you want to discuss how things make you feel, and if you don't want to talk about your emotions.

 

Suppression of emotions has become the norm, but it leads to frustration that turns into anger. We are now a nation of very angry people, suppressed anger but angry nonetheless. We see it every day in passive-aggressive and aggressive behaviour. We are deeply frustrated at the injustice of our lives and the world. For you, the anger may take decades to surface, and when it does, you won't necessarily know where it's come from.

 

If you are a child listening to this, chances are, this toxicity will surface once you become a parent and see the behaviour in your children. If you are a parent, then you will be triggered by your children's behaviour. 

 

I offer you this: if you are a young person finding it hard to deal with your emotions or an adult who doesn't understand why you are angry, I can help you, but only if you want it. It's about helping yourself, and I will be your guide.

 

Remember, they are all your emotions, good and bad, so it's up to you how you care for them.

 

DM me to find out how I can help. Follow me for tips on how to manage and deal with emotions yourself. Please share this with anyone who might need it.